Life’s Dance Card

When I was a little girl I remember hearing the song Que Sera Sera sung by Doris Day.  The message was an answer to questions about the future and the answer was; whatever will be, will be.  Some say its destiny, fate, tradition and that we have little choice in what comes our way. Should we simply float along in life and let the winds of change blow us one way and then another?   I think not. Not anymore. 

Many stories talk of hardship bringing eventual serenity.  It’s all in the perception; how you look at life and what you choose to do with the dance card you were given.  Do you really have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince?  If we do, then making the task as pleasant as possible may ease the hardship of discovery.  Humans make mistakes, we’re expected to and that helps us grow and change through the experience.

It’s a belief in negative and positive outcomes that is so upsetting and the polarity of right and wrong,  good or bad,  dark or light.  This polarity gives our world dimension and texture to feed our imagination and make us who we are.  If everything and everyone was the same wouldn’t we be bored?  We are so fortunate to have so much diversity to inspire us to create, argue, learn and passionately desire change and compliance in the world.

I’ve known many people that were injured, ill or depressed in the prime of their life and their life changed in an instant.  The initial reaction is generally shock, disbelief, anger, grief and eventually acceptance of the new condition.  Because of being forced to stop and slow down one now may choose to be miserable or may choose to find new gifts in the situation.   Emotion and health are a part of who we are and if there is continuing anger and resentment about the condition then it generally continues in a downhill spiral.

 What if an accident or illness simply gives us the opportunity for introspection that just didn’t fit on life’s dance card before?  There are so many people that have developed exciting new careers and gifts that came from the perceived negative experience.  Many women have had to learn to receive assistance graciously due to their new inability to give, give, give and control how things are done.

How is it possible for terminally ill people to be happy and peaceful unless they have found something beautiful inside of them?  How is it possible for Americans living in tent cities across the country to find community and family time, after losing their jobs and homes?

It is possible. In 198 I was homeless with my children and a disabled (ex) husband. We lived in campgrounds for several months.  The biggest concern was to have enough food and gas for the day.  Even though I was very depressed, there was peace in the simplicity of meeting basic needs each day.  The peace surprised me.  I was living my own heroic story and reclaiming my place as mother and protector of my children. At 35 years old I was on the threshold of discovering my power and would soon separate myself for the final time from an abusive, angry veteran husband.  On the bright side it was a healing time for the children and me.  They loved living in campgrounds.

One day God grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and shook me really hard to wake me up from depression and hopelessness.  July 4^th wakeup call includes a car accident, child protection services and moving mountains with husband safely in jail.  After a week of going to court the children were released to me to take home to a new apartment.

It was also the beginning of discovering 12 step programs, co-dependency and that I no longer had to accept unacceptable behavior.  What initially seemed horribly traumatizing became the best thing that ever happened to us.  Six months later I had the strength needed to take the powerful stand for myself and the children and remove my abusive husband from my home.   What was dark and hopeless became empowering as I began to see my husband through a very different perception. I was the thing he could control and I was done with that role. I would lose my children again if I didn’t stop the abuse to me. I could not allow that to happen because I was afraid.   I had to find power in my fear and use it. It was the scariest day of my life and I walked through the fear anyway and did what I had to do to gain freedom.

I was given a second chance at life and I have lived the past 20 years knowing life is precious and a gift.  All these years later when I find myself resisting change, being upset about the economy and spinning my wheels over events I have no control of; I long for simplicity.

“Who put that on my dance card? I didn’t sign up for this.”  This is a question I ask myself when I feel overwhelmed.  Then I ask myself, what can I do about it and what am I accountable for?  Do I need to do anything?  What is the gift in what is happening?

These are powerful questions to gain insight and choice in turning any situation into something that promotes peace within.  Yes, we can put new choices on our life’s dance card and have a say in what happens if we want to.  Be bold, live your life fully, play, sing out loud, dance and enjoy the beauty of who you are.

Espavo, joy filled blessings,

MaryAine Curtis      Emissary of JOY    Intuitive Spiritual Counselor    maryaine@return2joy.com,    www.return2joy.com