The Dead Zone

Several weeks ago, I had the good fortune (and the good sense!) to participate in a day event regarding living one’s life purpose as presented by Colette Baron Reid. I came to the seminar, not knowing how to fix what was broken in my life and looking for answers. By this time, I had done everything I could think of and more to heal my spirit, my lack luster existence, as I was truly miserably stuck in the quicksand of a life unlived. I had done a lot of shifting such as moving from a house to a condo, quitting a career that wasn’t of interest anymore, avoiding old interests that didn’t serve me any more like only socializing in bars, trying to stay connected to old friends and failing, it was a lot. Yet I did my best to keep my chin off the floor and appreciate all that I had, even if there were a few things missing. So here I sat, eagerly hoping that I would receive some sense of direction on this day that would resurrect the hope again that there really was more out there for me. So as I sat in the front row, Colette shared her endless knowledge delightfully mixed with humor and the realness of a being that has had her share of troubles in her past too.  

Colette described three zones we have the choice to live in. The first is called the comfort zone. It is the familiar, the existence where one does not stretch oneself; typically fearful of changing the known.

The second zone (aka, MY zone) is the dead zone. This is the place you find yourself in if you have stayed too long in the comfort zone. A HA! ME. ME. ME! This is what happens when you allow your dreams to die because of all kinds of reasons; doubt that you can’t make money at it, someone may not approve of your choice, etc.  It is an existence where one doesn’t grow, creating numbness, yet we feel uncomfortable. BINGO!

And then there’s the promised land (my term), the wilderness, the unknown, the unfamiliar, it is the place to discover new things, it makes you feel alive, it’s a call to adventure. YUMMY!

Where do I buy the ticket to get on that bus?!?!

Well, it turns out that the price is just a little more self work. Go figure, just a little more!  The next step is necessary as it’s not like I didn’t try to get beyond this point before this day! So what, or I should say, who, is holding me captive in the dead zone? It certainly isn’t my conscious self because I KNOW I am perfectly miserable being there and only want out. This is the time when a determined effort needs to be made to embrace the shadow parts of ourselves and see who, besides myself, is running the inner show.

Colette uses the name, Goblin, referring to the inner Gestapo best described as the deformed energy within each of us that was born to originally protect us in a moment of anxiety and wounding, usually before the age of 6. While it may have been comforting in childhood, it most certainly is not our best friend in adulthood. It keeps us from living out our best lives and needs to be challenged, and assigned a new job.

The changes I have made since this seminar are vast. I quit another job that on the outside seemed perfect for me but wasn’t a match in some way as all I did was complain, feel tired all the time and I started to create an illness. (Within 24 hours of giving my notice, my symptoms just disappeared! Imagine that?!?) Next week, I am flying out to Santa Fe, New Mexico, an area that I feel called to even though I have never been there. I have decided that even though I moved just over 2 years ago, I need to do it again, this time a lot further away, so I have been eliminating ‘stuff’ in preparation of going somewhere!  I am accepting that it is my time to live the life I dream of, even if my mother is still alive, living with alzheimers in a nursing home. (Even in her state of mind, she is constantly telling me to go live my life! What a lady!) And the synchronicities are falling all over themselves, it is magic.

Ms. Reid has written several books but the one that features the information I am talking about is titled “Remembering the Future”. It is a tremendous assist in helping each of us move forward, again, and again. Thank you, Colette, for a job well done.