“As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live.”

Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe

          Many of us grow up with the concept that we need to prove something. The belief begins early in our lives. Baby Boomers adopted the notion upon starting school, but children today are indoctrinated as early as toddlerhood. Before children enter kindergarten, they are subjected to batteries of tests to see if they are “good enough” to get into the best preschools. The need to prove worth is implied even before the child can talk clearly, and it expands as the child grows older. Therefore, the pressure on the modern teenager is incredible. No wonder the suicide rate of adolescents is so high.

          Meanwhile, the need to determine a person’s value is all an illusion. In truth, we have nothing to prove. Continuing to feel obligated to prove yourself will throw you right into the middle of the Triangle of Fear and Control that I talk about so much. It saps your energy and steals your power.

          Some of us try to justify our existence and show the world we are good enough by amassing “stuff”. If we have the latest fashions, the flashiest cars, and the most costly possessions, then we believe everyone will know we are special. Unfortunately, this form of justification can turn into an addiction. In fact, the addictive personality frequently stems from a feeling of not being good enough that began in childhood.

          Furthermore, the addiction to one’s drug of choice (alcohol, sex, spending) strives to compensate for a lack of self-worth. All too often, however, one addiction merely creates a new addiction—the addiction to disillusion. No matter how hard one tries, the pain of not being good enough can’t be covered up by such harmful behaviors. As a matter of fact, the attempted cover-up provides the setup for disillusion.

          The need to justify can surface in a number of ways. For instance, do you frequently find yourself caught up in the need to explain your position to someone else? That is a form of justification. Every time we feel we have to justify anything to anyone else, we are operating from a place of fear. Consequently, we are not operating from our power center. 

          Taking responsibility for your creations is the first step in releasing this need to prove your worth. Worth is inherent. We are created in the image of God. We have nothing to prove. When you gain the capacity to understand your power to create your reality, the truth will emerge. Therefore, if you don’t like what you see around you, change your thoughts! As you change your inner landscape, the outer world soon follows. It is hard to own feelings of low self-esteem when you can classify the magnitude of your creations! Every time you realize the extent of your own power, you kick your self-esteem up a notch.

          Doesn’t this all sound great? I have to admit that I have mumbled, “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” upon reading or hearing such statements. At those times, the words never sank in. They possibly worked for a while, but before long I would be back where I started, mired down in worry and disillusion. To infer that the message suddenly changed my life would be a lie. Somehow, however, in the last month or so, the cartoon image of the light bulb going off over my head happened. I woke up one morning and I understood this.

          The event was a major shift for me. If I could identify the exact catalyst, I would share, but I can’t. Even if I knew, I think the mechanism would be different for each person. So don’t bother skipping to the end of the article to find the magic answer. It won’t be there. The only place you will find it is within your own heart. Perhaps that is the key. The day I finally quit looking outside myself for any answer at all, the day I stopped asking questions, was the day it “clicked”.

          I did have the key all along, but I blocked myself every time I allowed doubt in any of its insidious forms to creep into my life. Those little questions I would ask and then muscle test for the answer (“Show me yes/no!”) were some of the most expensive questions I ever asked. They cost me fortunes! Finding certain answers is valuable, but “getting it” is priceless!  

What replaced my doubt and has the power to overthrow yours?

The answer is certainty! Suddenly, I was certain about life. Thankfully, I now understand that it is mine to craft, and the temptation to ask anyone to assist me is slipping away rapidly. Yes, I still ask, but I catch myself and change the subject. I realize that nobody can tell me what my future holds except me. It isn’t created yet. I am creating it moment by moment in a grand fashion. And it just keeps getting better.