Lightworker Spectrum - http://lightworker.com/Spectrum/
Am I an Illusion
http://lightworker.com/Spectrum//articles/108/1/Am-I-an-Illusion/Page1.html
Charmaine Lee

Charmaine Lee's Insights on the Virtual Light Broadcast are from personal 'life experiences' that directed her to the path of awakening. Her journey has only begun. She shares the discoveries in correlation with soul and human conveying heart-felt practices to others.

Recapturing her memories of the first encounter [at age four] with multi-dimensionality prodded her to keep searching. This realization became apparent through her Polynesian [Hawaiian/ Tahitian] dancing opening the channels with the beings of light, purely through divine intervention.

This prompted her to go beyond as the Archangels revealed to her the depths of the dimensional soul. She defined her purpose, re-structured repetitive life cycles, claimed her identity as an entity on this planet, and formed a relationship with self, human and soul. This clarity exposed multiple doors of abuse she experienced which did unlock the truth escalating her integration process.

Charmaine Lee's desire to serve others became strong within her community. It still did not feed her soul. After 18 years of service as a civilian in law enforcement, she left to engage more into personal and spiritual growth globally.

She formed Foundation For Insight as a way for others to develop a strong foundation for one's lifestyle.  She is a Visionary, Neo-Shaman, and Entrepreneur. She created "The Mastery System" for better understanding of one's internal core. She is currently offering Mind Over Matter Boot Camps that will available in your city.  In addition to her busy schedule, she enjoys her contribution within the Lightworker family. 

Charmaine is available for Public Speaking, Life Coach, Mind Over Matter Power Coaching, readings, writings, workshops, and more. 
Follow her on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/foundationforinsight and http://www.insightsforthesoul.com 


Live Fully, Heal Thoroughly,

Charmaine Lee
charmainelee@neo-shaman.com
702-251-8200
www.foundationforinsight.com 
By Charmaine Lee
Published on 06/20/2008
 
The awakening is happening to all of us.  Yes, right in the middle of you discovering your reality.  Currently, the economy in the USA triggers all of your feelings. Many are going through 'never being good enough' instead of what's next.  Unworthiness is one of many emotions being felt today.  You are affected by belief systems that you are accustomed to and not focused on what you accomplished. 

By identifying your cloaking rituals you are in control of the truth of who you are.  You may be one of many who is attentive and know without a doubt your point of reference of who you are.  And some of you are aware but you find that you prefer to be numb and avoid what you are feeling inside.  Why?  It is comfortable.  But is it really?  Not all of us know how to identify our illusions or know how to master truth unless there is a practice. 

Take time not to believe what I am saying.  Find one thing you are stuck on and cannot move forward on because it hurts or triggers negative memories.  Apply it to the suggested practice for 30 days and notice how you respond, what action you take, and does it feel uncomfortable when you practice.



The time of fear and doubt becomes apparent as we get closer to owning who we are. A journey of discoveries and revelations that you never suspected was there. This is a revolutionary awareness to have peace and joy in life. We are awakening and the shift is now being felt in the body.   The illusion of you not existing can no longer be ignored because of the pain.  No longer is it just through connecting with your soul.  We are getting prepared to integrate human body with soul! 

For me, YES it has been painful because as you transition, transform and transmute, you find your existence. You start to take notice how wholeness of one's soul is best when in triality. Who would have known that we practiced our truth through cloaking rituals? When did these practices become addictive thinking and addictive behaviors? We only knew indirectly how it all worked. Of course the interpretation was concluded that we had to be right or wrong. Right to make people like us avoiding what is wrong.

There are so many factors you may be experiencing at this time. This is the moment you create an illusion, losing self. In finding love, you find self sometimes not readily obtainable. Often times daydreaming or fantasizing is confused within the delusion giving self permission to withdraw, pull back, becoming your own illusion. The practice of avoiding the pain is the illusion of love. In this practice, love is confused with blame, shame, guilt… The result in finding truth gives a sense of pain you may endure while going through this integration. It is different from the first time you became aware.

You began a journey to discover. Your mission is to find the truth. Sometimes the truth is not revealed because your truth is a derivative of pain and fear. You react automatically through your illusions, where instant gratification prevails over those feelings.

All these months and years your awareness has heightened. When you escalated into the many facets of your reality you found either pain, hurt, or anger attached. This sometimes was your obstacle where you could not decipher which is the truth. It intermingled too much with the pain. The pain distorted your discoveries leading you to keep looking externally for other things, events or people to gratify your satisfaction in what you proclaim as life.

You find various avenues that lead you to the truth, but there are more to still go through.   You realize that you still haven’t gone anywhere as time causes you to become impatient.  The challenge in this belief is you have created an illusion about self. In this state of awareness you are discombobulated with your truth and reality.

Now the state of awareness is an attraction triggered by manipulation.  Manipulation of your beliefs attracts many variables of love.  The conclusion is the misinterpretations of love confuses what you really are feeling.  This is one aspect of how illusion intercedes with feelings. It distracts you from healing almost effortlessly because of your experience from trauma and/or abuse. Depending on the trauma or abuse the misinterpretations will be complicated.  Ironically, many of you truly do not know what environment you were exposed to that may have affected you.

Many times people forget that being human is different from ego.  There are those who use ego to protect self.  It appears as a delusion which validates your illusions of what you believe about self, what you believe you deserve.  Ego begins to show its face through cycles in repetitive behavior.  Ego of being enough.  Who would ever think this way? How would you even begin to process it unless you knew what ritual you proficiently used?

A balanced ego is imperative to your being for you to discern your own surface feelings and deep feelings.  This allows you to find truth and trust that you are love.  You can receive love from another human.  You now can face your own fear instead of using manipulation as a way to blame or justify who you are.  Usually the pain of rejection hurts the ego and the response is to retreat to be safe and/or comfortable which is an illusion.  Why?  The pain is triggered easily, the person or place may change, but the illusion still prevails limited to your perspective of love.  What dominates is self gratification of some sort that brings pleasure instantly but has detrimental side affects to one's well-being.

Fear can cloak the pain and hurt by suppressing the truth even more.  Steve Rother and the group talk about Seed Fear.  A seed implanted from many years ago.  We don't all identify with the seed until it converts into an attachment to fear and repeats itself.  Very powerful revelation when you strip away the cloaking practices.  It invalidates your fear and illusion of who you are.  Suppression or repression of fear stops you from feeling.  You can change the internal and external dialog and claim your birth right, being human.

The illusion is more apparently manufactured by your fear. Fear isn’t authentic but it is your choice to create it. Often times if you stop and listen, your first instinct is NOT fear you feel. It is your thoughts that create pain and hurt instantly. In the moment all the thoughts of your body is reacting. Tensing and feeling overwhelmed with pain that your attachment to stories and memories trigger. The illusions you concocted to feel comfortable or safe becomes a reality.

Regrettably, the cycles of illusion projects out like a movie as you go through the fears. The body acts upon whatever is triggered through cell memory. At a subconscious level this brings the beliefs and past memories to head. Subconsciously the pain has been under control as you may believe. A fixation of what everything should look like in your mind giving you the illusion that all is going well. The illusion grows through consistent justification of what you believe is the truth. Your feelings propel from within molding gratification to make you feel okay. This is a quick fix, but always temporary causing more reactions. The conscious mind continues to feed the subconscious mind and vice versa.

Although the pain does not decrease, the body finds instant gratification acting like a transfusion. It feeds upon external gratification giving you a feeling of satisfaction that you won't be hurt again. The pain is still felt throughout the body. The pain still triggers numerous memories that have not been healed or released from the body. It intensifies the cycles of illusion.

Many examples of this have to do with relationships (external vs internal). Not a cliché but truth because the first relationship is with self. It can cause mixed feelings as you transition from an illusion to reality. Transformation is the process of discovery. You now can have a tool to practice with if you choose. Confusion appears when addiction mingles amongst illusion and fear. You now have three forceful, abrasive and destructive subconscious realities.

The mind triggers its own process of thoughts opening waves of emotions. This raises the surface feelings only. You have illusions to supply temporary relief. It has not begun to touch any of the suppressed or repressed feelings or emotions. Unfortunately, it all seems redundant and a practice to heal is the best tool to allow these cycles to stop. This is how you can integrate with the soul. The more you subconsciously tap into facing these surface feelings, it permits the deep feelings to release. Thus a practice of duality can be eliminated and the practice of triality survives.

Duality consciousness: You subconsciously choose to not look at the reality. It is easier to manifest illusion triggered by aggression. Aggression connected to the realities you have not faced. Sometimes you never connect the human traits to the environment you were raised.  Your reality is pain and hurt from various truths you held on to.  Where did they come from if you don't remember the story?  You recall the pain and hurt along with speculation of a story.  What is the practice?  Is the practice reality or illusion?  Both become a see-saw effect especially when you throw in love.  Love seems to be fuel to ignite the fire to a multitude of feelings.  The most awful feeling is being unwanted and not needed.  You are either a part of life or you are not.  Oddly, it is cold but what can be difficult in making this choice.  There is never an end except ups and downs. 

Triality consciousness: Facing the mirror image of your illusions would bring up “am I good enough”? A reality of a desire to feel good and accepted, is motivated by love.  Yes, again Love.  It seems as if love is the final veil to the core of your being.  However, the addiction will crave to have duality consciousness as a final result to heal.  The affiliation to trauma would supersede you loving self and you accepting love from another.  Triality consciousness is knowing who you are although there is still pain and hurt.  This is one distinguishing aspect in facing you are 'enough' within your perfection and imperfection.  YOU are the point of reference of being human.     

Following are some examples of how cloaking rituals work.

Duality Model: the illusion to do everything right so people will like you, instead of the reality of your imperfection and perfection is enough. This model when applied to self demonstrates how your realities become distorted by many complicated factors.

Imperfection would mean you are not good enough. Will you measure up? The competition of what more can I do. Imperfection seeks deficiencies as a human being attacking all facets of who you are; mind, body and spirit. This drives you to be good enough. The fuel is you are never good enough.

Perfection would mean never good enough. You strive to accomplish flawlessness. If your realization as you look at self is you don’t measure up, the reaction would be a continuous reaction to merit your existence. Yes, your mind and body. You lose the connection to your soul/spirit.

You are perfect and imperfect in every way. No matter what aspect of whom you are, it all exists. The duality model requests you to place high expectations upon self. This will only trigger a fixation to want perfection. Perfect within self is assuming everyone you love is perfect. You become disappointed by rejecting those around you, who do not fit with this model. The result is you reject a part of you. This process triggers the cloaking practices.

Another perspective of perfection is if you have been traumatized, you see self as imperfect. Damaged goods and not loveable. The illusions and delusions are apparent by your reactions. Subjectively reacting emanating you are not loveable. You display traits of being the “bad” person, the black sheep or don’t fit in. You know you are different. The result is fear. This process triggers anger connected to the trauma.

Triality Model: you were abused and you want to be loved by someone for you, but you push the person away with justification so the person cannot love you enough. Addiction is triggered (abuse). Your reflection of your reality (to be loved) is manipulated with illusions (not enough). Imagine this is done at a subconscious level.

The motion of emotions are concurrently working as the super-conscious mind triggers other deep feelings; such as acceptance, abandonment, and rejection.

This model is infinite. You have mind, body and spirit. Take a look at how each one of these have a triality of your truest existence as human and as soul. The mind encompasses your thought processes and emotions. The body stores all cell memory and feelings. Your spirit would be the alignment of all that is of beauty and love. Mind, body, and spirit are the trilogy of who you are.

It is now the awakening into find your trilogies within all spectrum's of your mind, body and soul. The truth exists within the model. The triality model of self is the observer, the director and you. The observer can oversee the illusions. It eliminates duality. The observer now is awake to supervise the reaction through practice of many choices through love. There are no covert reactions when you can observe from all aspects of your thoughts and feelings. The triggering process no longer controls you. You become the director to translate never good enough to you are enough. You direct that you are love, not are you loveable although you feel like damaged goods. You are enough not the reflection of others. It is easy to construe these reflections from others because it is attached to stories of blame, justification, guilt and shame.

This model foresees beyond the triality of you, your soul, and your mind. It unlocks the truth launching you into being a dimensional being. The connection to all that exists in your search to find the relationship that links you to the creator.

Yes, you can visualize this state of being. You do so in meditation. You practice to be balanced and peaceful through yoga. You have enlightened awareness about self of your own behaviors. Again, a mantra each of us practices is to find the correlation between self and the divine creator.

Sexual energy gives you this dimensional connection. Loving YOU with all your perfection and imperfections is one fraction of this dimension. This includes the ingredient of truth revealed about self. You are all that exists within. The ultimate arousal is the ejaculation of love shared with another dimensional being. This is not an experience of two humans connecting.  It isn’t about two souls intertwined as one soul.  The truth of who you are, your human self and your soul is the integration into an evolution of triality as you walk amongst other dimensional beings.  Welcome home as you reconnect multi-dimensionally.

The removal of the veil will allow you to look at the spectrum within your triality of truth!  The existence of who you are no longer is separate.  You can transport dimensionally as you connect with other souls.  You are awakened into a consciousness as you accept this alignment.  At times, this does not feel comfortable.  You may seem displaced when you first begin to take back your power.  The inner dialog will be confused as you battle all that you know.  You can no longer hide.  You are revealed and visible.

Is the illusion of being human what you want? Is the illusion of being soul what you want? You have already become aware by knowing there is more than duality. You transition by using the vehicle of LOVE to practice within and attain what you want.  Journey into your consciousness of truth as you explore the catalysts of other humans opening up all your possibilities to dimensionally connect with others.

Here are some basic prac-tices that will help you explore your illusions and delusions of fear, duality and triality.  These practices if addressed honestly and with your whole self will allow you to get close to home and closer to your soul.  Allowing you to move through dimensions and remove the veil.  (If you want to learn more inquire about the "Unlocking The Inner Mirror" [UIM] workshop.)

Fear.  List them one at a time.  Identify what feelings keep repeating.  Ask yourself why?  Then write down what these feelings are connected to in relationship to your story.  Recall your environment.  What was actually happening around you?  Who were the people present during this time?  How did it affect you?  Does it affect you today?

Illusion.  List and define what you do to make things right for others. You may even find that you accommodate other people's feelings to not have conflict.  Write down how you continue to react to this person or these types of personalities without looking at the truth.

Duality.  List those who are in your life that mean a lot to you.  Family or friends, whomever surrounds you.  Next to each name take time to list how duality plays in the relationship.

Triality.  List how you practice triality next to your name.  Use yourself as a point of reference to connect another triality with the people you listed.