Last month’s article opened up perspectives of the experiences I had that caused me to practice. My journey led me to find an immense and powerful sense of healing. Something you all are looking for when you look within. I found my truth of realities before I was led from one mentor to another. What I practiced on my own is what I share with you.

The word emotions sounds ‘touchy feely’ to so many people. It was interesting to find how each person defined emotions. Emotions are always in motion. It is something that has been clumped up all into one for many individuals.  

Yet, each of you has experienced the feeling of Why ME [My Emotions]?  When did you feel overwhelmed by emotions that you did not communicate this in one way or another except through your reaction?  Did it produce the result you wanted in doing so?  You may be asking yourself, why ME? more often as life decides to take you to places you have never been. 

This is the moment in time where all triggers provoke emotions and feelings.  Provocation is spontaneous. It leaves you in a place where you feel out of control because it is easier not to identify them.  To identify the triggers is more of a struggle; often times worse than having your tooth pulled.  Once you begin to identify your Cloaking practices the objective is to remove them, and implement practices as you face these emotions and feelings.  You will discover how easily you can justify them. You may believe you have removed your cloak by blaming others and you no longer own them.

It takes only a second, when something you hear causes you to react. Now what? I thought I got over this. I felt I had done healing on this. Why am I still feeling this way? You wonder what happened.  What's wrong with you?  The pain begins to takeover.  It gains massive control in every part of your being.  Naturally, your reaction is to hold on to every one of your body's senses giving you a sense of control.  In an instant your body automatically defends itself through its ritual.  A ritual (repetitive behavior) to suppress the pain embedded within your cell memory in the nervous system. 

The truth is revealed in your mastery of your Cloaking practices. As time moves forward you find you still have these feelings you react to when triggered. It is something that will happen time and time again because it is in our cell memory. Removing the cloaking practices is the first step. Second is creating a space for cell memory to experience the pain so it can release. Third, is to put in a practice that builds from healing, memories of loving gentleness, and trust as you go through the reaction

Search out your realities to discern what cloaking practices you  manifest through your emotions.  Emotions are thought processes.  It is not about bad or good.  Actually, you will find the addictive behavior or addictive thinking is repetitive. Repetitiveness is an addiction through your cloaking rituals supported by your beliefs about self.  The belief "you are love" is the hardest to absorb. Often times the side effects of worthiness or am I enough to love or be loved begins to act out.  When pain is what you experience as love, the ritual is acted out.  Love is painful.  You recognize the relationship as being just so.  You begin to attract to what you believe is truth as you practice.  Hence, if the truth is negative, it does not empower you.  Isn’t it time to alter the rituals?

Many people fall in and out of love. It is easy to fall in love. It is the illusion of falling in love that feeds you to continue your ritual.  It is because you desire to feel wanted. What did love feel like for you? Did you go full force giving your sexual energy and soul to this person? Then you find there is a lapse creating doubt that triggers all your emotions. Was the illusion of giving your sexual energy a practice of being enough?  Was it the ritual of giving love to someone who does not love one self?  It would be hard to love someone if you don't know yourself what love is.  You may try to understand it, but the doubt triggers fear. Fear from all aspects of your life that you have experienced is in motion.  The relationship with fear and love continues its momentum until another lapse. This time it could be more devastating.

You find yourself becoming selfish within the illusion of self-first.  Yes, by all means self first.  However, not identifying the ritual could cause an illusion to satisfy the other person.  If the other person doesn't practice and there is no communication between the two, it sets off alarms of fear.  On the other hand, you may have the illusion of fear of being loved, that self indulgence to support your belief ‘you are not love’.

These rituals permeate where you pull back as if you are in control, believing you are doing the right thing.  A model you contorted as a guarantee to be loved by someone or something.  A ritual called external gratification to satisfy momentarily your internal gratification.  Your feelings and emotions are convoluted.  Instant gratification will dominate the illusion as you pull away from love because you cannot recognize love.  Love becomes even more distorted within your illusion. 

If you want love, love self first.  Love cannot provide a guarantee.  Love in its purest essence bestows all that is of joy, divinity, peace, ecstasy, happiness within you.  The illusion no longer can exist, only the truth. It is taking the truth and, living not controlling, your feelings blurring love. This is a practice that is very difficult. In spite of this, love is more than attainable.  Yes, because you deserve it.  You are worth loving you.

No more illusions to gratify a feeling of being whole because you are still looking to be loved. Accepting self as love is love in its truest form. You want love to embrace you, and be attentive as well as nurturing.  Again, not making something beautiful more difficult with stories.

As you continue to trust the love, you will then feel the love by another instead of your first reaction. Your first reaction when someone loves YOU is fear of rejection. The second reaction is feelings of abandonment. The feelings begin to go from bad to worse, never enough, frustration, not loveable; various cloaks that appear in synchrony (motion) with your stories of beliefs about self.  These are feelings that you will begin to feel if not resolved within the relationship with self.  The Cloaking practices begin their addictive cycle. Trust the love within by going through each Cloaking practice to overcome each reaction. The reactions will eventually subside when you practice. The practice of love is pertinent because you will, at times, still wonder about why is it you are not enough. What you find is you are enough!  It is about worthiness for both involved.

Not being enough is addictive thinking. What happens in this practice is you begin to want to tell the world about who you are. Then you react to the addictive thinking as you pull back your feelings. You find that you begin to withdraw from those you love the most, then your family, friends and then the world. Many times you do exactly what the fear is and this may be a number of feelings. It is easy to depart, vacate or abandon relationships because your pain of abandonment is apparent within your cell memory.

Addiction is the hardest to overcome or to process. The key is how to divert it so you are able to practice what it is you want. It is the hardest practice to master. However, it is worthwhile when you do prosper in healing it. Addiction is easier to see when someone is on drugs and alcohol. How do you handle it when it is an addiction in behavior?  What about addictive thinking?  You know that habits are hard to break or to make the changes.  This is where you implement a practice of love.  

The contradiction is you are the only one who can do anything about it. No matter how much you avoid internal dialogue, your repetitive reaction is subconscious. Same reaction, maybe different situation or person, it's still a reaction.  

For example, your conscious thought is for you to be responsible for how you are reacting with your anger. Subconsciously you are still reacting aggressively or with rage. The addiction is still there. Without it you don't have the control. The control is the high.

This is not because you are a negative person. You will be told that you are and you will believe it. What triggered is an automatic practice to put up your cloaks (guards, shields) as a protection. It is normal human behavior. The addictive reaction is feeling not worthy and shutting down the feelings. A practice of when I get close to what I want triggers fear.  It triggers a reaction within the nervous system.  The process in the body chemically ignites an alert to the conscious mind and subconscious mind, bringing to surface a performance of negative behavior.

How does the repetitive behavior evolve? It is through addictions you are not aware of and subconsciously cannot control. If you practice the same reaction, it isn't just insanity; it is the addiction. 

The possibility of having what you want produces the fear in addictive thinking. You may find this in your cloaking practices from last month. What manifests is the “not good enough” instead of love. It is a practice that is difficult when you move from fear to love.

It is easy to see that the more you work on it, you think there is something wrong with you. The fact is in a relationship two people don’t have to work on the relationship. In LOVE it will heal anything and opens up communication. Such as working on fear, is to know your Cloaking practices as they are triggered. The cloaking becomes a ritual that is repetitious. The practice began long ago in your childhood years. And when you experience the same practice as an adult it becomes a ritual.

A ritual is something that is done over and over. When fear is triggered the immediate response is to hide or pull out. The ritual of ‘making it feel right’ fails because you begin to go through addictive thoughts that triggers the belief of you are not enough. The thoughts prevail through blame and justification instead of going through reaction to a practice of positive reinforcements.

How can we control the reaction? You don’t control it. You choose a practice of what you want. It begins with you. Here are some practices.

Simplify. Life is complicated not understanding how the conscious mind and the subconscious mind works when it is triggered. Become the observer. Observing how you are reacting when you are triggered. Why? What? Where? How?

In doing so, there is patience and forgiveness to learn and practice. Many times it is easier to feel nothing. There are many ways one can practice beyond denial, suppression, repression; and the levels of anger. It is easy justifying the layers of anger but the truth is the layers of anger create cloaking.

Cloaking is where the addictions are hidden. Imagine how a cloak can hide so many things. Take a look at the various perspectives that can occur when you are hiding. Why do you hide?  Is it a false perception of being safe and that nothing happened?  Or if you know it happened, you hide behind the cloak to blame.

A process you created to keep yourself safe. A mechanism that works for you very well except it keeps you from what you really want. When you are in relationship you look towards the other person to do something about it, in reality it is both who individually must practice.

Imagine the different depths of the ocean. Nothing is ever seen the same. When you look at the tide, it touches the shore at various times. The metaphor is surface feelings react in the same manner. You will experience joy, happiness, sadness, fear, anger and these are tides of emotions. The experience will never be the same, yet you still react.

This is how the addictions begin. It is the practice that allows the cell memory to trigger, you react and depending upon the depths of the cloak, you reinforce it with love.

Awakening. The body doesn't know how to let go. The body doesn't evaluate the cloaking process. There is no time. It just triggers. There is no processing where the mind and body goes through the series of information. Instantaneously it is a reaction, such as feeling “not enough”. When putting your conscious mind along with the subconscious and super-conscious mind it is a multitude of feelings that arise.

Your body begins to tighten, you begin to fear, and thoughts manifests. Subconscious reaction triggers your cloaking practices. You may be able to have thought processes causing justification to many stories. You cannot stop it once it begins. You say things and you do things that become out of control. You wonder why me?

There is no room for love any more. You become judgmental and find you are unworthy. Why would you deserve it? Everyone now becomes the blame. The cycle begins. It seems as if it is a nightmare. You don't want to look in the mirror. You would rather deny what you see. It is not your fault. You cannot phantom you could ever be addicted to these deep feelings that cause you to react from being out of control.

Taking you through the depths of feelings you do not want to acknowledge because it is painful to feel them again. Yet, you re-create it every time you trigger the feelings you have cloaked (denied or ignored). The cycle of addiction doesn't stop until we look at what is the pain. What is hurting you? Where do you begin to heal so you choose to let go of the pain?

Practice. It sometimes feels unattainable. The subconscious sets things in motion. It triggers the super-conscious mind alerting cell memory. This is where the practice benefits once you are aware. Thus, you can come from forgiveness, and demonstrate gentleness and love within yourself.

Here is another example of a practice. When someone you love reacts and treats you like you don't matter, what does it trigger? Depends on what cloak is brought up. Everyone is different and although it seems like the same reaction, it is the depths of the cloak that causes the trigger. Experience, trauma, addiction that separates all of us.

Understanding this process can assist you in changing the reactions. Practice, Practice, Practice.  This is the key to living in the moment in love.  Yes, in love with YOU.  The awareness of knowing what is happening to your body when you shut down. This is healing with love. The awakening is releasing the illusions.  This will set you free!  Free to live, to be with those who love you, to embrace and capture all you deserve.

What now my love? How do I love thee? If you don't love you; then will you know when you are being loved? Will you be able to begin to know the difference of between love and hate? This is not an easy journey when you look deep within.

What now my love? You are love!

This is only a partial insight to a signature piece of Unlocking the Inner Mirror workshop we offer through Foundation For Insight. To awaken the soul, we must understand the body reactions through our subconscious mind. You will see how the trilogy of mind, body and soul becomes imperative to the wholeness of who you are.