www.energy4action.com    www.matrixalchemy.com
My relationship movie channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/lanapritzker?feature=mhum

Connect to your inner truth barometer by answering a few questions:

1. How often do you think about doing, or actually do something that you do not value?

2. Do you support something or someone else at your own expense?

3. What motivates you to go against your gut?

Often, we feel resentful and criticize something in order to separate from it. Do you know that when you feel separate, you sense even more need to blame someone or something for feeling disconnected? You start looking for faults to justify your disengagement.

This morning started with sunny brightness behind my light green curtains. The day was clear and so was my schedule. I was planning to focus on completing this article and later to work on my new book. Then phone rang and a cheerful voice from California started its 30 minute conversation.

The picture of me that I was receiving did not make any sense and the conversation was becoming difficult. It felt like I was trying to find a little space in the wall of words to share what was really happening here in Chicago, but California was having a good time sharing what it thought about me and my life, so there was no real space, attention or authentic desire for the heart to heart conversation. I felt a huge energetic pit hole opening in front of me and employed all my senses to help me stand on my feet while watching my spirit falling lower, and lower, and lower. The cheerful voice kept explaining how un-enthusiastic, ungrateful and undirected I was and how much it has given and invested in me. It was becoming frustrated and confused with me (after all that has been done for me) that I was still me, being and doing what I felt was right and representative of my values.

 Working with many couples who were planning to get married (www.themarriagepuzzle.com), married couples and those who were on the verge of separation, I had a unique opportunity to notice the common patterns that showed up again and again in every interaction I observed. These were common habits of “pleasing others” and resenting it at the same time mixed with the need “to be right” and the need to prove yourself.  These behaviors were considered by at least one person in each couple to be a necessity for peaceful co-existence that naturally occurred at the beginning of the relationship. Yet as relationship progressed, the habit of not communicating transparently, keeping your truth to yourself and doing things that did not feel right in order to stay in relationship actually ruined the relationship or attracted the wrong person as a partner. This strategy did not work in a long run.